Category Archives: Ben Carson

Late Night Shows Political Jokes

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

  • Last night was the Republican caucus in Nevada, and Donald Trump scored a big victory, bringing him one step closer to the Republican nomination. A Trump presidency is getting so real, Mexico is starting to think a wall is a pretty great idea.
  • Yesterday, President Obama announced his plans to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Not to be outdone, Donald Trump announced that he wants to open a CHAIN of Guantanamo Bays. “One on every corner. They’ll be like the Starbucks of detention centers.”
  • NASA said this week it has received a record high number of 18,000 applications for their astronaut training program. NASA said it shows a growing interest in space exploration. Then people said, “Nah, we just wanna get off the planet before this election.”
  • Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won’t come with any cash, so you’ll have to borrow some from your parents’ Monopoly set.


  • Although she herself is an immigrant, Donald Trump’s wife Melania says she is fine with her husband’s tough anti-immigration stance. When asked why, Mrs. Trump said she had about 4.5 billion reasons.
  • After he won yesterday’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, “I love the poorly educated.” Trump then said, “And when I’m president there’ll be more of them than ever.”
  • Wealthy GOP donors are now lining up behind Marco Rubio. Not because the donors think he can stop Trump, but because they think Rubio is the valet.
  • Hillary came to Los Angeles and she visited the set of the political drama “Scandal.” There was an awkward moment when Hillary told the writers, “Man, have I got some ideas for you.”
  • Despite Jeb Bush’s poor campaign, some analysts are already talking about the political rise of his son, George P. Bush. George P. Bush has already got his campaign slogan: “Don’t Worry I Was Adopted.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

  • Trump won the Nevada caucuses in every demographic last night. He won white men, white women, white rich people, and white poor people. Rural whites, urban whites. He got one vote from a Chinese guy, which was nice.
  • Trump even won the Latino vote. Which is amazing. It makes me wonder if people really come here from Mexico for a better life or if they come to get away from their relatives. Maybe they want the wall to keep their in-laws out.
  • Dr. Ben Carson finished a distant fourth in Nevada. He only got 5 percent of the vote. But for some reason he’s still not dropping out. He’s promised to continue on. He said, “I believe that things are starting to happen here.” You know it’s time to drop out when it has been weeks since Donald Trump even bothered to call you a moron.
  • I was thinking about why Ben Carson is still running today and my first guess is he’s retired and he’s bored. He has $10 million in the bank. Why not run? But there’s another possibility. Maybe he’s sleepwalking.

Article written by: Tom White

Last Night’s Late Night Political Jokes

My Favorites in RED.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

  • In his victory speech after the New Hampshire primary, Donald Trump claimed the unemployment rate might actually be as high as 42 percent. He might be right, because Hillary just fired her entire campaign staff.
  • It’s been a rough week for Hillary, after Bernie Sanders won the New Hampshire primary by more than 20 points. Bernie said he’s always liked New Hampshire, especially cuz he was around when it was still Old Hampshire.
  • Hillary Clinton recently said it’s a “low blow” for Bernie Sanders to criticize her for not being progressive enough. And if you want to know more about that story, do NOT Google “Clinton low blow.” Save yourself.
  • After finishing second in New Hampshire’s Republican primary, John Kasich said he can handle attacks by Donald Trump saying, “I’m not gonna sit there and be a marshmallow and have somebody pound me.” Then Chris Christie was like, “Anyone else as turned on as I am?”


  • Yesterday, Bernie Sanders was a guest on “The View.” There was an awkward moment where Bernie looked around and said “Where’s that MILF Barbara Walters?
  • Ben Carson said he is open to being Donald Trump’s vice president. Yeah, it makes sense, Carson could deliver Trump the black Republican vote — which consists of Ben Carson.

Late Night With Seth Meyers

  • Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders earlier tonight faced off in a debate on PBS, or as PBS calls it, “Antiques Roadshow.”
  • Chris Christie announced yesterday that he’s dropping out of the presidential race. Christie said he’s not sure what he’ll do now, and then someone reminded him he’s still the governor of New Jersey.
  • Bernie Sanders, yesterday, had breakfast in Harlem with the Reverend Al Sharpton. Interesting, usually when an old white guy goes out to Harlem, it’s because he fell asleep on the train.
  • Jeb Bush today said he is the only candidate who has the you-know-whats to go up against Donald Trump. Oh, my god, Jeb. You can’t claim to have balls if you don’t even have the balls to say balls.

Article written by: Tom White

Poll: Evangelicals flocking to Trump

Among white evangelical Republican voters, Trump earned the support of 37 percent.

Donald Trump’s outreach to Christians is bearing fruit, if the results of the latest NBC News/Survey Monkey weekly online tracking poll out Tuesday are any indication.

Among white evangelical Republican voters nationally, Trump earned the support of 37 percent, while Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, whose father is a pastor and has played a key role in recruiting faith leaders to support his son, is at 20 percent. In the same survey conducted the previous week, Cruz registered 9 percentage points higher. Below the top two contenders, Ben Carson earned 11 percent among evangelicals, while Marco Rubio took 10 percent.


Article written by: Tom White

More People WOULDN’T Vote than WOULD Vote for These 7 GOP Candidatese

Ok. The really big news is that Trump is killing everyone else in the polls by a huge margin. Trump brings in 35.4% in the Reuters Polling rolling average.

The rest of the candidates are, frankly doing horrible.

Second place, such as it is, belongs to Ben Carson, but only at 12%. Trump nearly triples Carson.

Third place is Marco Rubio at at 10.5% followed by Ted Cruz at 9.7%.

Jeb Bush is in 5th place with 8.4% and Chris Christie follows with 4.8%.

7th Place is held by people who wouldn’t bother to vote at 4.7% which means that Fiorian (3.6%), Huckabee (2.9%), Santorum (2.4%), Paul (1.9%), Graham (1.6%), Pataki (0.7%) and Gilmore who does not even register at 0%.

Article written by: Tom White

Cruz Campaign Capitalizes on Carson’s Inexperience

Senator Cruz continues to capitalize on Dr. Ben Carson’s inexperience, gaining ground against Carson in Massachusetts. In October, Massachusetts polling data showed Trump with 48%, Carson with 14%, Rubio with 12%, and Cruz with only 5%. In one month, Trump has dropped to 32%, Rubio up to 18%, Cruz at 10%, and Carson dropping all the way to 5%. Now, this early polling in Massachusetts isn’t a good gauge of anything in a vacuum, but considering what we’re seeing in other polls, it appears that Senator Cruz is directly siphoning off votes from Carson.

AP_ted_cruz_jt_150321_16x9_992Obviously, Ted Cruz and Ben Carson share the same constituency; so whichever candidate’s campaign seems the most formidable will likely be the campaign with all the votes at the end of the day. While I have tremendous respect for Dr. Carson and while his campaign staff has proven to be remarkable fund-raisers, they have done a very poor job crafting a clear message. Rand Paul, whom I also respect and support, has suffered from the same lack of message. Over the last few weeks the Rand team finally looks to have simplified its message and to have begun demonstrating why Senator Paul, and no one else, ought to be the Republican Nominee. Too little too late I’m afraid.

The success of the Cruz Campaign can be found in its’ consistency. Republicans are looking for a conservative candidate that walks the walk, and that’s Ted Cruz. That’s been his message from day one. Why is Ben Carson running for President? Why is Ben Carson the best candidate in the Republican field? No one seems to have an answer to those two questions, least of all the Carson Campaign, which is a serious problem. Carson’s support is still strong nationally, because he’s a brilliant man with an admirable character and it’s just hard as heck not to love the guy. However, as he delves into the policy alongside the Governors and Senators, he looks inexperienced.

Why is this important for Cruz in Virginia?

Surprisingly (and I’ve heard few people discussing this) a Mary Washington University Poll in early November showed Carson leading the field in Virginia with 29% of the vote. Trump is in second place in Virginia with 24%. Rubio had 11% and Cruz had 10%. I would imagine, if the same trend holds true in Virginia as it has in Massachusetts and Iowa, we will see Senator Ted Cruz skyrocketing in Virginia. Rubio, Cruz, and Trump could actually be very close together come the next round of Virginia polls. So keep an eye out.

Unfortunately for Carson, candidates who begin these steady, across the board, decreases in their poll numbers, rarely survive. Voters write these candidates off and quickly jump to their next favorite candidate. In both the case of Donald Trump and Ben Carson, the number 2 favorite is typically Senator Cruz. With the Republican and Democrat Parties and everyone in the television and print medias targeting Trump, it is hard to imagine Trump hanging on. That isn’t right, by the way. No candidate should lose support because of what the Political Parties say or how viciously the media goes after them. If you agree with a candidates policies, what do you care what the media says? However, this has been the trend over the past several elections. No candidate has survived the blitzkrieg The Donald is facing. Of course, no other candidate has been Donald Trump.

We’ll see what happens. The holidays will speed us through the rest of 2015 and come January 2nd, the primary season will be in fifth gear. Should be fascinating.

Article written by: Steven Brodie Tucker

The Rise of Cruz in Iowa Explained

In the most recent Quinnipiac Iowa poll, Senator Ted Cruz surprised analysts by coming in second to Donald Trump with 23% of likely caucus goers support. The ascendancy of Cruz in Iowa can be contributed to two primary factors. First, that Rubio and Carson supporters are not securely in the tent for those candidates. Secondly, the terror attacks in Paris and the return of foreign policy to the forefront of the campaign. Ted Cruz, having refused to attack his fellow candidates, has not angered those who currently have different favorites, nor has he done anything to hurt anyone’s favorite candidate in the polls. Senator Cruz has stayed above the fray and run an extraordinarily disciplined messaging campaign. Cruz does not go off topic. Cruz is not taken by surprise. Cruz does not make mistakes. So as other candidates, running less disciplined campaigns, make their mistakes, Senator Cruz is there to pick up their votes.

cruz2The top five candidates in Iowa are Donald Trump (25%), Ted Cruz (23%), Ben Carson (18%), Marco Rubio (13%), and Rand Paul (5%). Of the top four candidates, their supporters were asked “(If candidate chosen q1) Is your mind made up, or do you think you might change your mind before the caucus?” Donald Trump boasts the most certainty amongst his supporters with 51% saying that their minds are made up and only 48% saying that their minds could be changed. Ted Cruz comes in second with 41% saying that their minds are made up and 58% saying their minds could be changed. Both Trump and Cruz have built a large number of secured support and we haven’t even gotten into the thick of the campaign season (January/February).

Rubio and Carson, however, do not have a secure hold on their supporters. 33% of Ben Carson supporters say that their minds are made up and 65% say their minds could be changed. Rubio’s numbers are far worse. Only 22% of Rubio supporters say their minds are made up, while an astonishing 78% of people polled, who said they support Senator Rubio, say their minds could be changed. This is great new for the Cruz Campaign for 2 specific reasons.

First, of those who say they support Ben Carson, 18% consider themselves Tea Party, 18% consider themselves Very Conservative, and 24% consider themselves Evangelical. That means that 60% of Carson’s voters could easily fall into the Cruz camp, based on ideological agreement. Senator Marco Rubio, however, holds sway over fewer ideological allies. 5% consider themselves Tea Party, 8% consider themselves Very Conservative, and 6% consider themselves Evangelical, which means only 19% of Rubio Voters are likely to switch over to Cruz. However, remember that 78% of Rubio voters aren’t committed. What if ideological lines weren’t the only factor in the race?

Senator Cruz’s jump in the polls coincides with a jump in voters’ perception of the candidates on the issues. Recent terror attacks have brought foreign policy back to the forefront of people’s minds. Ted Cruz leads Trump, Carson, Rubio, and Paul when voters were asked who they thought was the best candidate on foreign policy. Ted Cruz received 24%, Donald Trump 18%, Marco Rubio 15%, and Ben Carson and Rand Paul each received 6%. Interestingly, it would appear that Cruz’s rise in the polls and Carson’s decline, was directly the result of the fact that Cruz is viewed as being the best on foreign policy and Carson, not so much. When asked about terrorism in particular, Trump still leads Cruz. Also, when it comes to the question of who is a “strong leader”, Trump continues to lead there as well. This is why Trumps numbers remain solid.

Another area of this poll that is particularly instructive, is the favorability of the candidates. When asked if there were any candidates likely caucus goers would NOT support, we see Ted Cruz with a huge advantage. Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, and John Kasich have the highest number of people who are absolutely resolute that they do not support them. 26% say the absolutely would not support Jeb Bush. 23% say they would not support Donald Trump, and 19% say they would not support John Kasich.

If you’ve been hearing folks talk about the inevitably of a Cruz/Rubio showdown, the numbers I’m about to share with you are the reason why. Only 5% (the lowest number polled) of caucus goers say they would not support Senator Ted Cruz. In second place? Senator Marco Rubio with only 7% saying they would not support Rubio. Which means, Cruz and Rubio are likely to pick up everyone else’s votes as they drop out of the race. Donald Trump isn’t going to gain votes, but it is also very unlikely that his supporters abandon him. Which means that while Trump will hover in the upper 20% range, as other candidates drop out, Senators Cruz and Rubio will continue to rise, with each of them likely surpassing Donald Trump by February.

Article written by: Steven Brodie Tucker